I originally posted this blog on June 4, 2019. I have not edited it. I have added updated commentary at the end.
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I'm sitting in an almost empty Barnes and Noble, surrounded by books (heaven), free coffee (score!), Prince on Spotify (perfect vibe music) and still sweating from my cardio session (finally) this morning and getting ready for my last client, my time to lift (weights make me happy) and teach a yoga class. I also go back to my thyroid specialist today to tell her I stopped taking my meds (a risk).
I'm about to say something I haven't said in a long time: I feel GREAT!!!!!!!!
I am still battling exhaustion and insomnia but I didn't take anything to go to sleep last night.
I just added a little bit to my bedtime routine:
I soaked my feet in Epsom salt and lavender.
I set my phone to turn off at 9:00 p.m. instead of 9:30 p.m.
I had something to say to someone so I said it.
I had enough to eat without trying to remember how many calories I might have been over.
It was a night of peace beyond understanding.
Today is THAT day.
This is the first blog post I've written in a while because, well, I've been too scatterbrained (translation: unorganized and addicted to Candy Crush) to sit down and write OR believe that anyone was really that interested in my life. I'm sure that my laundry load and lack of heirloom tomatoes aren't all that thrilling but perhaps you can relate to getting enough clear headspace to even REALIZE you need to wash AND go to the store. Maybe you can relate to feeling like you are merely existing instead of thriving and go towards your goals. Maybe you can relate to feeling like everyone is way ahead and you're still in bed wondering what you are going to eat for breakfast. Maybe you can relate to feeling the pressure of seeking a summer body when your body still feels stuck in winter.
Today is THAT day.
Today is the day where I KNOW I can feel good by following my intuition (stopping my meds made me feel oh so much better) and following Tasha's path without hardly being concerned about what the masses are doing. Today is the day you can decide to listen to your soul and seek that which brings you joy and the life you want. The truth of the matter is I will probably still play Candy Crush today but it will be because I want to and I'm not doing it to avoid life. I may forget to return a phone call but it won't be because I don't have the energy to be a "people person" or just don't want to talk to anyone. I may go to bed early not because I want the day to end but because rest is vital and no email or text message is that important.
Today is THAT day.
Do what you need to do to get clear and get motivated about life. Get up and face the things you fear. Speak up and say the things you need to say. Do something that reminds you of how strong you really are. Do something that makes you smile. Surround yourself with people who make you better.
I'm beginning to think that I wasn't tired as much as I was uninspired. I'm beginning to think my thyroid was out of control because I was eating sugar to deal with my stress. I'm beginning to think that my sleep patterns were disturbed more by anxiety and swallowing my words (not speaking up) than anything else (although, please believe, hot flashes are a real thing and they are straight from the devil). I'm beginning to feel great because I believe I was meant to and that's where my thoughts have been.
Manifestation, Loves. Today is THAT day. Go after your life.
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UPDATE: I so remember this cycle of my life. I stopped taking the thyroid meds because, according to the doctor I was seeing, I had to get up and take my thyroid meds at 3:30 a.m. and then try to get back up for work at 4:30 a.m. when I already wasn't sleeping. I felt better because that cycle was CRAZY. I was, unknowingly (but suspected), peri menopausal. I had both my gallbladder and appendix removed five months later.
I was sick and trying to fight sick and I was SO HAPPY to make changes that made me feel as good as I felt the day I wrote this (unless I was lying because I had gotten real good at "faking well).
Just reading this though made my heart so happy. I was finding me and what worked for me and that type of deliberate search for what brings you peace is the only way to go. Maybe I should go back to some of this (specifically coffee, Prince, books, foot soak and an early bed time) and see what it does for me today. :)
TODAY (whatever day you are ready this) is THAT day!!
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